I remember the first time I saw my wife, I was 16 and she was 14 and from the first time we locked eyes there was something there. I would say that its as close to love at first sight as I have ever experienced, Except for the fact that she was with one of my best friends for a year after I first met her but even when she was with him she would give me those eyes when I was around.
When they broke up she came after me and I was all for it. It destroyed my relationship with my friend cause he was still in love with her and he and his buddies made it a point to make my life very difficult because of my betrayal. While I was with her for this short period I met her father and step mother. At first they seemed pretty normal but as time went on I started noticing the neglect regarding their daughter.
They didn't care if I stayed the night with her while they were out of town, They didn't care if she had parties without them there, they didn't care of she drank or did drugs, They didn't care if she was having sex. This boggled my mind even at 17 years old and at this point she was 15.
Then one night it became clear when she asked me to take a trip with her down to Detroit to pick her dad up. When we got there we pulled into a tittie bar and the bouncers carried her dad out and put him in the car. He was blackout drunk and unresponsive.
Apparently this was common with him as the bar had a few numbers to call when he got that wasted. He was an alcoholic and a serious one at that. There was a disrespect that started to grow in me for her father at that point and her step mom was just as bad, if not worse.
What eventually led to our relationships demise was the day when my grandma came home and caught us having sex and banned her from coming around anymore. I decided that between her ex, His friends and my family coming down on me because of this girl it just wasn't worth it to me anymore so I broke up with her and it just so happened to be on her 16th birthday. Jerk move I know, But I will freely admit that back then my selfishness had peaked and I didn't really care.
So 9 years went by before I saw her again. In this time I had gotten my wild 20s out of me and was starting to chill out, I was sick of having sex with random women and not really having a real relationship with any of them. I was craving a relationship. When I saw her again even after 9 years and dumping her on her 16th birthday she still gave me those eyes. My response was to chase her down and anything I had to do to be with her I did including see her through her current relationship that she was unhappy in.
I did have to finally tell her that I wanted to be more than friends and listening to all her boyfriend troubles was going to push me away. At that point she cut the crap and made a commitment to me. She admitted she was weary about another relationship with me because of how the last one ended and she wanted a friendship first.
Yet she also admitted that when she saw me again she just wanted to drop everything and be with me. I did what I had to do because wanted to be with her and that was hard for me listening to her problems with another man.
We moved pretty fast, Shortly after we were officially a couple again we got a place together. It was great, I was finally with someone I wanted to commit to. I think I cheated on every girl I was ever with and I was finally at the point in my life where that was completely out of the question. This was going to be a real, genuine and I was dead set on not messing this up.
Of course during this short period she has told me about how bad her father is hurting her with his deteriorating condition and lack of of love or concern for her. She spoke often about writing him off and never talking to him again but somehow she always let him weasel his way back in to break her heart again.
She gave me the lowdown on her father shortly after we were back together. He had sold their family home, property and all their belongings to fuel his crack cocaine addiction. He had lost everything and was staying in an apartment on the other side of the county working there as a maintenance man and living to smoke crack. I remember the night I saw him for the first time sense I was a teenager.
She asked me to come with her and we were going to buy him some food because he spent all his money on crack and forgot to eat. I agreed to go with her and when we got there it was like a scene from a movie. We walked in and it smelled like feces and heavy body oder, The place was trashed and there was a big hole in the ceiling from when he accidentally fired a shotgun into the empty apartment above him.
I yelled at him that night, The guy was literally a total stranger to me but I couldn't take it. I told him to get his crap together, I told him how bad he was hurting his daughter, And I told him he was not going to be a part of either of our lives in this condition, I told him we would not be bringing him anything ever again so don't call and ask. He was pretty much unresponsive to everything I said and I got really pissed and we left. I could have choked him out that night so it was better to just go.
Fast forward a few months and she invited me to go to her aunts house in Mississippi and I agreed to go with her. We got there and the place was a dump in the middle of a corn field and all their grown children still lived there with their children. It was like the beverly hillbillies times 10. After being there for a few nights I started having a really hard time sleeping. I started having these crazy dreams about raping and killing women all taking place in the room we were staying in, No joke.
It was extremely disturbing and after 5 nights of it I finally came to my breaking point and asked her if we could go party in New Orleans for a few nights and she agreed as she had started experiencing bad dreams as well just not as intense as mine. Im not a very spiritual guy but I can assure you I knew something bad was lurking there, every cell in my body was screaming get me out of here.
Sure enough we got to the french quarter and the dreams stopped.This was most definitely the worst experience I have ever had staying somewhere and for all you skeptics that think Im crazy a few years ago my wife came to me crying and brought up my dreams when we were staying there. She told me that her uncle had been arrested for child molestation and all the children and grandchildren had came forward and said he molested and performed sexual acts on all of them.
Just so everyone knows, This is extremely hard for me to write, Im am so filled with disgust and anger toward my wife's family its painful to sit here and write it all down. Im reliving it all as Im writing it and it sucks.
So a year and two months after we reunited we got married. I asked her to marry me because I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her, because I love her and because I could see her being a great wife and mother. To me there wasn't even a question, She was the one for me. The wedding was beautiful, It was outside at her aunts house that lived close to us. Her father and step mom did not attend because they were to Fd up to make it, That really hurt her.
When I proposed to her she asked me who was going to marry us and I told her I knew a pastor who use to come talk with me when I was a kid and I always liked him. So we setup an appointment with him and did pre marriage counseling which went well, He actively tried to get us into the church which I shrugged off every time he mentioned it but she really responded to it.
She wanted to make a life change and I agreed to support her in that and do it with her even though I already knew I was not interested in church at all. I have had religion pushed on me sense I was young and I never believed in Jesus or the christian faith, To me church was torture. But for her I would do it. So we were married now and actively going to church. We quit drinking and smoking weed, It was never a problem for us and was purely recreational but we figured if we were going to do it for real and follow our pastors advice then these things had to go.
We adhered to the christian faith together for 3 years before I finally came out and told her I was not a christian and I did not believe. I just couldn't take it anymore, I love her and want her to be satisfied with her life but it was making me miserable. She took it well but was bummed I wasn't going to church with her anymore.
Im getting a little ahead of myself. Four months after we were married she was asking me for a baby, so I got her pregnant with our daughter. She had a baby shower close to home and then she had a baby shower in Cleveland where her dad and stepmom had moved to. I agreed to go out there with her and we wound up at her stepmoms families house where there was more of the same.
Drug addict degenerates and grown kids stealing money from their grandma for drugs literally while she is on her deathbed They wound up getting into a big fight, screaming and yelling at each other while we were there so I went over and gave their grandma a kiss on the cheek and told her I would be praying for her then just grabbed my wife and we left. Their grandma died shortly after we were there.
I have a real problem with her step moms family. These people are not my kids relatives, In no way are they related. But sense my wife considers these people family she thinks they are our kids family to, which is extremely frustrating to say the least.
A year after my daughter was born my wife was asking for another baby so I got her pregnant with my son. They are both healthy and so beautiful, They are 6 and 4 years old now and I love them more than anything. After my children were born my wife started really wanting them to know their family. I personally had no interest in this, obviously. But she holds a lot of value on family regardless of how Fd up they are, But I didnt want my kids being subjected to these Fd up people whom I had no respect for so there is a lot of on going battles about that.
I mean I know this is her family, I knew that when I married her but I guess I didn't think it all the way through. I didn't think about these people being grandma and grandpa to my kids and when I did think about it I was shocked my wife actually wanted our kids to know them.
I wanted to write this to get it all off my chest and get opinions. But the more I write the more pissed off Im getting, I have a deep sinking feeling in my stomach right now and its tearing me up inside.
So sense im having a hard time with this I'll try to wrap it up quickly. A few years ago her dad is drunk driving and smashes into another car and rolls the vehicle off the freeway. Lucky to survive. Her dad and stepmom came up last year and got dropped off by the police after an altercation at a bar in my town. They come up to see their daughter and grandkids but stop and get drunk before they come to my home.
I have told them countless times they are not allowed to be drunk around my kids yet they keep doing it and my wife lets it happen instead of kicking them out like she should. They come up on christmas eve and my wife and I are out and about while the kids are at home with my mom and we come back to find her parents at the house drunk with the kids opening all their presents. My mom got it for that one.
8 months ago my wife's uncle butch dies of a heroin overdose, Last time I saw him I kicked him out of my house for being drunk around my kids.
My wife wanted her dads help with remodeling a bathroom in our home and like a dumbass I agreed they could come up and stay for a week. Her stepmom is now dieing from the damage alcohol has done to her body so she regularly pukes her guts out, even when theres nothing to puke up. Her liver is failing and her intestines are shriveling up. They were at my home for 2 nights and one of those nights i didn't sleep because her stepmom is dying on my living room floor with my kids in the next room.
So the next morning I snapped, packed a bag and went and stayed in a hotel until they left. I have never left before, I have a lot of anger toward my wife for subjecting me and the kids to these things. I have no compassion for her dad and stepmom. They have trashed their body and mind and tortured me and my wife for to long. Me leaving the house for 4 days shook my wife up but didn't seem to wake her up that Im to my whits end with her family.
So yesterday my wife calls and tells me that her real mom has turned into a lesbian and has been having a relationship with this woman for two years. I say " Yea so?" and stuck up for her mom cause its her life she can do whatever she wants with it right? My wife don't seem to think so and got furious at me cause I told her to chill out and stop trying to control things that are out of her control.
We haven't talked much sense then. Im literally at my end with this. I do love my wife dearly but Im to a point that I never thought I would come to. Im evaluating my happiness and sanity for the rest of my life. I wonder what its going to be like with her if this is the way the past 8 years have been? I wonder if she realizes in her pursuit to keep family close to us that she's pushing her husband out to sea? I wonder, But I am contemplating that push and about to start paddling.
The thought of leaving my kids wrecks me. I love them so much and they deserve to have me and their mother there but what am I in this? Am I a human being with a life? or am I a sacrificial lamb for my wife and children that will be expected to suffer her and her family for the rest of my days.
It also is extremely painful to think she would pick them over me, I have gently and lovingly took care of her for the past 8 years. I let her quit her job to stay home with our kids. I work hard and I work long for us and this really hurts.
Last edited by Chewy; Yesterday at 04:50 PM.
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